Planet of the Grapes

by Alexander The Grape

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Here it is! Our debut album! You think it would take us less than three years to put out a record, but here we are. These songs are about a lot of different things and span a three year period of writing. Some of these songs we wrote in high school and are in the present tense, but at the time or writing this (May 2013) we are mostly 20 years old. Sometimes people get confused.

Click on each song to read about it and to see a special picture for the track!

Special Thanks to our Kickstarter backers!
Tommy Meehan, Craig Baisley, Thomas O'Neil, Jacob Young, Pete Kilpin, Patrick O'Rourke, Francis Gaspirini, Allison David, Auguste Somers, Frank Howley, Jonathon Westwood, Zachary Adler, Raechel Kostrzewa, Rebecca Newman, Patrick Erhard, Sophie Trauberman, Zaniar Moradian, Myke Chilian, Hector Vega, Andrew Rothman, Rob Duffy, Claire Palermo, Jessie Perras, James Novick

Special Thanks to our FRIENDS and people we secretly admire!

Moon Bandits, The Manx, Ryan Whalen, Shady Characters, Cyclops Rock, Anus Kings, IGAF Sequoia, Sledding With Tigers, Bogsey and the Argonauts, DOGS, Mountain Whale Mt., Tough Stuff, Banjo Cat, FDITTOT, The Vampires, Blackbird Raum, Math The Band, Andrew Jackson Jihad, Chris Johnston (or Clavin, whatever), Paul Baribeau, The Taxpayers, David Combs, Jesse Michaels, Good Luck, Defiance Ohio, Man Man, The Aquabats, GWAR, Devo, mc chris, Ramshackle Glory, Harry and the Potters, Anamanaguchi, Nephews, Baths,Tim and Eric, Paul Feig, Rowan Atkinson, Carl Sagan, Bill Nye, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Gary Gygax, Sam Landsberg, Zenji Oguri, Cathy Asapahu, Jessie Perras, Jesse Roth, Rob Duffy, Ian Wexler, David Schaefer, Hannah Berezin, Jordan Goldin, Alec Wade Hodgeman, Matt Vaz, Donna Baluchi, Marty Ploy, Our parents, everyone we forgot, and anyone who has ever come to a show or listened to our music and thought “hey this isn't horrible” THANK


released May 11, 2013

All songs written by Alexander The Grape except for Tour De Friends by Math the Band and Personal Space Invader by Andrew Jackson Jihad. Please don't sue.
Dog Song is based on a poem by Sam Landsberg.

Sir Isaac Lime (Joe Wise) played ukulele, guitar and sang.
Rip Van Lemon (Eliav Maas) played Guitar, Banjo, Harmonica, probably some other instruments, and sang.
Strawberry Short Kook (Kevin Duarte) played the drums, washboard, and chilled.
Recorded at Punk Tree Studios in Simi Valley, CA.

Produced by the incredible and handsome Kasey Clarke. Seriously he's the best and we couldn't have done it without him.

Cover Art by the handsome Myke Chilian!




Alexander The Grape Los Angeles, California

"Kind of rough but give it a chance" - Reddit user Flat_Rootbeer

Hey homies! We are a goof punk/folk punk band from Los Angeles! We just want to play shows, eat pizza, and change the world! Check our facebook page for the most recent updates on music and shows! Up the Punz!! ... more

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Track Name: Crying
Am F C Em
Am C G G, Am G F F

I know I'm clean, but you see
This drug called sleep has such a hold on me
Every night I pass out, and I'm in a fantasy
Everything is rad and no dogs have fleas
She likes me, it's bliss
We lean in for that long-awaited kiss
My alarm clock rings, I wake up and I'm pissed
Cause every night shit like this happens to me
5 minutes later and I can't recall a thing
All I can see are images of unicorns and pizza that is free
But it's all so blurry
So I guess I'll have to try again tonight
I'm addicted to sleep
To get my fix, I count sheep
Pull the covers over my head
I hope I never get out of bed
Track Name: Dog Song

It's early in the morning,
Me and my dog are walkin
Up the hill we're going
A man comes behind me
Ask me very kindly,
“Hey kid, how yah be?”
Is he talkin to me or my canine?
Oh shit it's me,
“I'm feelin' fine”
And then he walks away,
and I feel dismayed,
I told him I feel fine
But it's all a lie
There's no truth to it
Not one bit, because
Track Name: Ni Hao
A# C G

I'm leeching all your files
I'm not seeding in return
I'm just paying you back in smiles
and I'd help you if I could but
The only thing I can do is offer my apples to you
I want you to know that I appreciate you
and I want you to know that I'm not trying to use you
and when I say won't you help me please
I need to make an A in Chinese
it's not because I'm not trying
and I hope you don't think I'm lying.
Foreign languages were never my strong suit
and this one doesn't even have an alphabet to boot.
You're also good at math a gift I never had
Thank you for not laughing
I can't do derivatives
I always think I know what the answer is
But I'm always wrong
so I wrote you this song
Because you know how to make it right, yea you shine a light
Yea you always make it alright.
Track Name: Homework Sucks

Welcome back to the concrete box
Hope you enjoyed your break now we're puttin' on the locks
Here's a shitload of work, hope it's not too much of a shock.
They've got us back in this prison, But not for long.
They've got us back in this prison,
But we're gonna break out like King Kong
I'm tired of all these stupid monkeys who think they're tough,
An hour is the same room and I've already had enough.
Being around all of these people, it's like wearing mental hand cuffs.
Fuck it's not even Friday
But when it comes you better watch out
Because I'm gonna scream and shout
I'm gonna leave and never come back
Except on Monday, I guess I'll have to come back
Because the courage to ditch, it's what I lack
But we've only got one more year of this shit
Until we can call it quits. Then we're off to college
Where we might actually gain some knowledge
Now I don't hate education, I just reject the notion
That we gotta work our ass off in High School
So we can work our ass off in college
So we can work our ass off at a nice desk job
So we can save up for retirement
and buy ourselves a lovely coffin
But I digress,
Because the point is I hate this stupid place
And it's all great big mess
They've got us back in this prison, but not for long.
They've got us back in this prison,
But we're gonna break out like King Kong
Track Name: Tour de Friends (by Math The Band)
F# D# C#

I've never seen this kind of progress before,
Eyes on the prize feet on the floor
I've never seen this kind of progress before,
Eyes on the prize

I don't even know where we are coming from
I don't even know where we are going to
I don't understand it, someone tell me
Where are these horses coming from?
What's the deal with the horses?

What's the deal with the horses?!

Decked out head to toe, we're talkin'
Green pants, ready to go
Birthday call-in radio show
I'm Henry Rollins

I don't even know where we are coming from
I don't even know where we are going to
I don't understand it, someone tell me
Where are these horses coming from?
What's the deal with the horses?

Birthday party, totally So Cal
We gotta get to Rexburg somehow
We're gonna lose my mind tonight
We're gonna lose it

But lately it's like you don't even have a job
Lately it's like you don't even have a job
Lately it's like we won't ever catch those goddamned horses now...

You gotta try,
If you're gonna do it, try
Make it happen, try
Make it happen
Come on, you cant stop
You can't stop us

Whats the deal with the horses?
Track Name: The Only Non-Anarchist Thing I Do (is Shop at the Gap)
Am Em
D7 Em Am

Well I've tried to be provocative and I've tried to be organized
But the pools of blood in my stomach are no flowing out of my eyes
and don't call me gifted because really I'm just lucky
that my parents were both white and made enough money
The punks of the 1980s were so confused
They'd fight with each other and only drink booze
but maybe it's okay because they paved the way
for all of the things that I love today
and I don't know where I'm going
I don't even know where I am
but every time I look outside I think
Damn damn damn
and I went to the show and I saw Paul Baribeau
and he played Never Get To Know and I never think about smoking any more
and I wish I could be (more like) Chris Johnston
I wish I could be as punk as him
and I wish I was a politician
I could lie all day and everyone would just listen to me
and I am so done and I guess we had fun
I'm so ready to say goodbye, that was all a lie.
Track Name: What, Me Worry?
D F#m Em A

I can't tell you how I feel because I'm afraid I don't appeal
I'm scared to seal the deal
I want you to be mine, but I am running out of time
Soon I will just be your friend
and that will be the end
Are you sending me signs, or are you just being kind
Either way I over analyze
everything in my mind
I'm afraid of rejection, I don't wanna add another to my collection
I should have said something tonight
Everything seemed right
I couldn't say the words, because I didn't know for sure
if you would concur
yea I felt insecure
and on the way home, I cursed myself and felt alone
because this happens again and again
and again and again and again and again
and I hope one day this all will end
Track Name: Cleric Song

You think I'm not as rad
just because I can't hurt you as bad
with my weapons
But you had better watch out
cause I can use spells like true resurrection
to summon a dragon
in a cave to kill you
I am a cleric and I'll heal the whole party
but sometimes I'll kill you on a quest and surprise everybody
All my weapons are blunt
I'll still use them to kill you but
I also have spells to heal you up real nice
that way I can kill you twice
I am a cleric and I'll heal the whole party
but sometimes I'll kill you on a quest and surprise everybody
I can summon monsters and I can cast plagues
and at level seven I learn
true resurrection
Track Name: Personal Space Invader (by Andrew Jackson Jihad)
C F Am Em

I gave birth to twin wire hang overs.
and now I am a personal space invader.
I've got essays, I've got finals due.
I have got lots and lots of problems.
Look out!

And how can you put that straw up your nose, when you know how coke is manufactured?
Its made by children for the immature.
It is made by babies who've been captured.
It's a sin against their fellow man.

And welcome to this world, have as much fun as you would like while helping others have as much fun as you are having.
Be kind to those you love, and be kind to those you don't.
But for Gods sake you gotta be kind, and respectful because we're all one soul. Be the best fucking human you can be!